Letter to Claus from Homeowners Association

NORTH POLE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION
c/o Mr. B.A. Humbug
Glacial Management Company

December 17, 2010

Dear Mr. Claus:

We are instructed by the Board of Directors to inform you of the following violations:

Your sleigh is a recreational vehicle, which is prohibited by the covenants. When we told you to move it from your yard, we clearly did not intend for you to place it on your roof. Please remove it from your premises.

Red and green colors on your house clash with the common scheme of the neighborhood. You must choose colors from our approved color list and submit an application for repainting to the Architectural Review Committee.

You are feeding wild animals which appear to be diseased. The sickest is the one with the shiny red nose. Some would even say it glows. You must discontinue this practice immediately, or we will call animal control.

You are storing toys and games in a huge canvas sack in your yard. Be advised that all outdoor storage must be approved by the Architectural Review Committee, and must be of the same style and finish as your house.

It appears that you are operating a day care center and/or workshop in violation of the CCRs. Through the fence, we hear the sound of laughing, playing games and shouting out with glee. There are numerous small persons on your property and the clatter and activity is disruptive.

The amount of mail you are receiving exceeds what will fit in your architectural approved mailbox, so you must make arrangements with the postal service for alternate delivery at a post office box or a business address.

You have made unauthorized modifications to your home which allow you to enter and exit through the chimney. You must submit an architectural request for your new entry, including evidence that this modification meets all state and local codes and is in harmony with other homes.

You have been observed making a list and checking it twice, finding out who is naughty or nice. You have no authority to do that, and it is divisive. It is the function of the Compliance Committee to determine who is naughty or nice.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. If you do not comply within ten days, we will refer these violations to our attorney.

Respectfully,
North Pole Homeowners Association

Note: This was sent to me by someone in an email, and I thought everyone would enjoy it. There was no copyright notice in the email so I’m hoping I’m not violating anyone’s copyright.

Why are there TWO Greetings on my AT&T Voice Mail?

If you call an AT&T mobile phone and get their voice mail, have you ever noticed how there’s the regular voice mail greeting, then AT&T adds a SECOND voice mail greeting of their own? Well, David Pogue of the New York Times noticed this and it appears that all the mobile phone carriers are doing this to increase talk time.

For AT&T, Pogue says this feature is called “cut-through paging” and it needs to be turned off.

So, I tried to change this on my iPhone. No luck. Next, I called my voice mail from a landline phone. No luck. So, next I called AT&T support to turn this off. Unfortunately, I just spent the last 60 minutes with some guy in another country, and am no further on finding out how to disable this secondary voice mail greeting on my AT&T voice mail. This is all too frustrating.

It appears, that this option SHOULD be available to turn off, but it can’t be found. My AT&T support person claims after 60 minutes with no luck that this must be an Apple setting. After telling him I’m calling AT&T voice mail from a landline phone into an AT&T voice mail phone bank, he still thinks it’s Apple, and without my agreement, transfers me to Apple support. Gee, thanks.

So, if anyone out there know how to turn off this secondary voice mail greeting, please let me know. I use my mobile phone for work, and it’s very unprofessional sounding to have two voice mail greetings. Thanks.

References:
Engadget | Users can disable Voicemail Messages

Ryan’s Cub Scout Fundraiser

Dear friends and family,

Did you know you can help me earn my own way in Scouting? Just click here and place an order on my behalf. Trail’s End has made a lot of improvements this year. All microwave products are made with canola oil and all caramel products are naturally sweetened, so there are plenty of healthy, flavorful snacks to choose from.

70% of your purchase will be returned to my council, my unit and my Scout rewards. Online purchases help us fund fun, educational activities and help more kids experience all the things that make Scouting great.

Thanks for your support,
Ryan

http://www.trails-end.com/estore/scouts/email_referral.jsp?id=7747971

LeBron Will Stay in Cleveland, I think

Bold predictions are abound. Everyone’s an expert. So I must be an expert too, so welcome to my not-so-ridiculous opinion on where LeBron will end up playing basketball next year.

Here are some facts we know:
1. LeBron wants a competitive team that can win a ring, but really, he wants a team that will win multiple rings.
2. LeBron loves the spotlight. He will not be a backup player to another superstar.
3. LeBron will not throw away $30M. A sign-and-trade is the only way he could get max salary and go where he wants.
4. A sign-and-trade would cripple whatever team does a sign-and-trade in current and/or future years.

So let’s analyze the teams that believe they can attain LeBron and be competitive.
1. LA Lakers – Won’t happen because of #2 above.
2. LA Clippers – Good PG, but better than Mo Williams? Good Center, but injury prone. So who are the Clippers going to package to complete a sign-and-trade? Lotto picks won’t be as attractive, because the Clippers will be about a .500 team if they get LeBron, and the Cavs know that.
3. New Jersey – Just got #3 in the lottery. They would have to give that up and future lottery picks to get LeBron. This team would then not be able to get the 2nd all-star to make the Nets competitive.
4. New York – The only thing that’s attractive to LeBron about NYC is the stage. And LeBron knows that if he loses in NYC, he will be damaged goods. New Yorkers are nice to be around until you lose, then they hate you. Thank the Yankees for that mentality.
5. Dallas – I saw the Dallas Morning Star say the Mavs would consider a trade for LeBron, but they wouldn’t give up Dirk or a couple other players. This was the most ridiculous article I ever read regarding LeBron. While Cuban is a good owner and spends money to win championships, this team is so far away from the Finals it isn’t even funny.
6. Chicago – This is the ONLY place outside Cleveland I could see LeBron landing, and it would take a sign-and-trade with Rose to get him. Noah would stay in Chicago. But LeBron will forever be playing in Michael Jordan’s shadow, no matter how many rings he won.
7. Cleveland – Very logical. Even though my Cleveland heart says he’s leaving, because Cleveland can never do anything right in the realm of sports, this is the most logical place for LeBron. He gets max money. Huge contracts are expiring after this year. And there are two huge players that Cleveland can lure to play with LeBron — Bosh or Amare. We may have to give away Delonte, JJ, Gibson, and/or Varajao, and Ferry knows it. Dan Gilbert is an incredible owner and will spend money to get a championship — so much better than any previous owner of the Cavs. And the Chinese minority ownership in the Cavs has some deep pockets too.

There ya go. I’m an expert too, just like all those other “insiders”. And if that’s not enough convincing, here’s one more thought:

When you see a Bulls jersey, the person you think of first is usually Michael Jordan, and he’s long gone. That’s very hard for LeBron to change. However, when you see a Cavs jersey, who do you think of? Much of that depends on which version of the Cavs jersey you see, but it could be a long list of players. Many would say Mark Price or Brad Daugherty if they saw the old orange and blue jerseys. Many would say LeBron or Mo Williams if they saw the current jerseys. But without a championship, most people will forget LeBron played in Cleveland. Garnett was a Timberwolf earlier in his career, and was incredible too, but it wasn’t until he won a championship in Boston was he iconic.

Championships define players and teams. When it happens, they are forever married in our minds. Keeping LeBron is so important to the Cavs that they will do anything to win, and LeBron knows that. He has a chance to put his hometown on the basketball map, and no matter if he wants to play in a bigger city, he has a loyalty and love for Ohio that will conquer all the outside influence. Most people outside Ohio will never understand that.

I hope I’m right. And I hope he embraces the city, like Cribbs does, when he announces to stay in Cleveland.

10 Efficient Steps to Buying a New Car

I’m not a professional car shopper, but I have my own system that has worked very well, and has significantly reduces the drama in buying a new car. I want to share my thoughts, and hopefully these tips will help you with your car buying experience.

Though you may be looking for a truck or minivan, I’m including all automobiles into “car” for the sake of this article. These tips include how to get the best price for the car you want.

1. Define your budget.

This is a step that is often skipped, but shouldn’t be. You need to determine what type of car you can afford. And you want to buy a car that won’t put you in debt for the next 7 years. Be cautious with your money. Determine what you can afford on a monthly basis. For our example, we will use some real numbers, let’s say we can afford $500/month towards our car.

2. Unless this car is for your business, DO NOT LEASE.

Leasing introduces a number of fees that significantly increases the cost of car ownership. It lures you in with low payments, then socks you with high up-front acquisition fees and zero (sometimes negative) residual value. Many people lease expensive cars because they can’t afford to purchase them. If you lease, you will be paying a monthly car payment FOREVER! Do not fall into this trap. I have very smart friends who have.

3. Once you know your monthly payment, do the math and determine the cost of car you can afford.

We used a monthly payment of $500. For every $100, you can afford $5,000 of car. That’s rough math, but it works out very well. So, for $500, we can afford a $25,000 car. If you are trading in a used car, you may use that money to determine which cars you can afford. For us, if we have a car that is going to trade-in with a $7,000 value, we can really afford a $32,000 car. Make sure though that the dealer is really going to give you $7,000 for it. Many people are surprised how little the dealerships pay for your used car today.

4. Find three (3) cars within your budget that you want.

For example, maybe you want an all-wheel-drive sedan. I know there are many AWD sedans in the $30,000 range, so I narrow my list of 3 cars by looking on websites, visiting dealership show-rooms, and maybe going to the local auto-show. Let’s say I narrow my list to the Ford Fusion ($29,000), Mercury Milan ($29,000), and Subaru Impreza ($22,000). Narrowing your list to 3 cars is a huge task, but the next task should settle you into the one (1) car you want.

5. Look at Consumer Reports, Edmunds.com, and other websites for auto reviews on your 3 cars. Ask friends too.

Consumer Reports has car-crash ratings, independent reviews, and customer satisfaction ratings for many vehicles. You may find 1 or 2 of your cars has terrible ratings. This should help you eliminate a car or two. If you still have cars left, ask friends who may own these cars and ask them if they are satisfied.

6. You should now know which car you want, but we don’t know how or where to buy it yet.

It is important to know that buying a car is half a) deciding what to buy, and half b) actually buying it. We are now moving into the “buying phase”. Hold on, it’s about to get interesting!

7. Find the precise model, package, options, accessories, and colors you want on your car.

Still be conscious of price here. For our example, we decided we want a Ford Fusion. Go to the manufacturer’s website, ford.com, and “build-your-car”. Every car manufacturer has a website, and each of their websites has a “build-your-car” option that helps you configure your exact car. Choose the model, package, accessories, options, and color you want. Make sure your final price MSRP is near your budget. If it isn’t, return to step 4.

Once you’ve “built-your-car”, print out the details of your car.

8. Call 5 dealerships and talk to the Internet Sales department.

Do NOT drive to any dealerships. All of this work can be done over the phone. And actually, it’s more effective doing it over the phone, as you won’t fall into many auto sales traps.

Car dealerships have created “Internet Sales” department which specialize in the competitive marketplace of buying cars on the Internet. Dealers have learned that most Internet users know how to get the best deal, and have conceded most of their profit in hopes of getting a quick sale. Because of this, you should have done all your homework to know exactly what car you want in the steps above.

9. Give your car specs to all 5 dealers to quote.

Tell the Internet Sales person that you know what car you want and are ready to buy. The Internet Sales person is your friend, so you don’t need to be mean to them. They are trying to help you. But on the flip side, don’t let them run you over. Provide them with the car specs you printed out earlier. Tell them you want them to quote that exact car, even if it’s not in stock. You are trying to determine which dealers provide the best Internet pricing.

Make sure your quotes include documentation fees, but not taxes and title. Also be sure to ask your dealer if they have any other fees to purchase the car.

10. Review the 5 quotes and determine which offer you will accept.

Your 5 quotes should have the same auto configurations, but bottom-line pricing will probably be different. Remember that any Ford dealership can maintain your Ford Fusion — you do not need to buy from your local dealer. Buy from the dealer with the most competitive price. Also, you don’t need to worry about the county tax-rate of each dealership, as taxes are calculated based on where YOU live, not the dealer’s location (at least in Ohio that’s true).

When you purchase your car, make sure the dollar figures on your quote are the same as your purchase order.

Because dealers cannot stock every car, they trade between each other. This is also called “locating a car”. Dealers can look across the entire country to find your car, and will often send a porter to drive up to 300 miles away to another dealer to swap cars and bring back your new car (likely after you sign the purchase agreement). Just because the exact car you want is on only one dealer’s lot, ANY dealer can competitively quote that vehicle and “locate it” for purchase for you.

That’s it!

Good luck on your car buying journey. With a little luck, your car buying should take about a week and provide you with the absolute lowest price available. And if you can, use the extra money you saved to pay down any debt from your new car purchase. Enjoy your new car.